Lessons from a Rock
I remember once reading a quote –
“All rocks are broken rocks.”
While perhaps not a complete geologic truth, this is very true for most of the rocks we encounter. They are broken portions of larger stones, and have been worn and weathered by untold years of adventures. This is what makes a rock a rock.
We don’t think of ourselves as rocks. Instead, we convince ourselves that we are only worthwhile if we engage in a constant struggle for improvement. We battle unhappiness and frustration because we are not what we want to be – we’re not healthy enough, or rich enough, or emotionally balanced enough. So we go searching for the guru, the book, or the path that will finally make us better.
What we fail to see is the nature of our desire. Though this nature has long been recognized, and though many teachers have repeatedly pointed it out to us over the centuries, we refuse to see it. The nature of our desire is thus – it is never fulfilled.
Perhaps Eddie Vedder said it best in his soundtrack for Into the Wild. In the song ‘Society’ he sings – ‘Until you have it all, you won’t be free’.
Blindly, most of us spend our entire lives in pursuit of this elusive ‘all’, missing the fact that if for a single moment we stopped the quest and saw what is right here, right now, we’d discover the freedom we’re seeking.
Our salvation doesn’t lie in transforming ourselves. The key is not to alter our relationship with our emotions, or to gain or change anything. The key is simply to see, right now, the true nature of our desires.
For we are like rocks, shaped and given reality and ‘self-hood’ by the very forces that we feel are eroding our lives. When we have emotions, or experience ill health, or feel our life isn’t ‘as it should be’, our calling isn’t to try to change. Change will seem effective, but then we will discover that the change has only brought us to a new place which is just as tainted by our desire for more.
The miracle occurs when we see our life as it is, right now. It’s not about learning to appreciate our faults – it’s just about seeing ourselves as we are, in the same way we pick up a rock and turn it over in our hands and notice the curves, the pits, the colors and cracks.
When we see our life with clarity and awareness, change will happen without the struggle we always felt in the past. Able to see our lives, we can appreciate every moment, whether we are laughing or crying.
The time to stop trying to make your life better is now. The time to discover your innate awareness is now. Take up a stone – any stone – and look at it. Are you ready to fault it, or is it just as it should be?
Why are you any different?
July 16th, 2008 at 2:42 am
Hi Kenton,
I was wondering how you look at increasing our understanding of things vs “stop trying to make your life better” or if there is even a conflict there. (Was the comment focused on Internal better life or External better life?)
For me, as I use awareness (my understanding of it anyway) I see things(thoughts and feelings) appear and the very act of observing them increases my understanding of them. Not an intellectual understanding but something else maybe more innate.
My life(or maybe I should say my ability to live) seems to naturally get better the more I understand like this, I start to understand the pitfalls that people go through and why to a certain extent.
Make any sense?
July 17th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Hey Kenton!
Thanks for another great post. Once again, you’ve managed to lead me back to the now, from where I can absorb your words, allow them to resonate within me. It’s a beautiful act to witness.
Blessings!
July 17th, 2008 at 9:22 am
Oh by the way - I loved Into the Wild. It touched me deeper than I can recall any cinematic experience ever had. I’ll certainly try to get my hands on the soundtrack!
July 17th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Total acceptance of oneself and one’s surroundings can bring about a profound peace. Life is something we are constantly trying to change, make better and perfect. But, just like those broken rocks which don’t need mending - our old selves with all its faults and failings and jagged edges is represented in the totality of time and space exactly as it should be. It’s all about acceptance in the moment. Ironically and paradoxically,
the moment we cease to try and change ourselves is the time when we really can begin to make changes and manifest in our lives the thoughts and images of perfection we seek. The secret is not to try and just to be.
I hate to say it but, “Don’t worry, be happy!”
Thanks, Kenton! You are a great teacher!
July 18th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Greetings Jarrod,
Great questions. In this post, I wasn’t making a real distinction between internal and external improvement, but was calling into question the entire idea of improvement. This can be easily misinterpreted as a directive to sit on the couch and watch TV, but in fact it’s a call to notice that the idea of improvement is based on a host of background belief systems, such as the belief in linear time and the belief in better or worse.
As Jerry pointed out in his comment, we can actually experience more aggressive change when put our energies toward awareness. In our usual lives, much energy is lost in resisting the present moment.
You could draw a parallel to martial arts — in a given strike, our muscles usually engage in too much eccentric contraction, slowing the strike and rendering it ineffective. In essence, we’re working against ourselves, simply because we’ve never learned to focus awareness on our muscular contractions. Simply being aware allows us to begin to learn to relax the eccentric contraction, speeding up the strike and allowing it to be delivered with adequate power.
In your description of awareness, you seem to have discovered this for yourself — I don’t read anything which suggests you are trying to force the fruits of awareness. ‘Not intellectual’, ‘innate’, and ‘naturally’ are all words which are often used to describe this unfolding of our awareness.
Keep it up with your site — have you read ‘Living the Martial Way’ by Forrest Morgan? This might resonate with you.
Sweetwater,
Kenton
July 18th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Hello Magnus!
Your words bring a smile =) Into the Wild really was amazing — have you read the book? And the soundtrack is definitely worth it –very amazing music, especially if you’re a fan of Eddie Vedder’s voice.
Sweetwater,
Kenton
July 18th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Jerry,
As always, thanks for bringing your own clarity to this — I hope that people read down into the comments and find your take on it — you add a great perspective in easy-to-understand language. Thank you!
Fondly,
Kenton