A Smiling Revolution
Well, here’s my first guest writer! For those who don’t know, Rebecca is my bestest friend, and also happens to have agreed to marry me a few years back. Rebecca inspires smiles all the time, and I was so pleased when she told me that she wanted to share her method of making the world a happier place =)
A Confession
Perhaps some of you have been wondering ‘Is Kenton really the same person in ‘real life’ as he appears to be in his writings? Does he live what he writes?’ To that I answer you—absolutely.
And I confess that it drives me crazy!
Let me clarify: Imagine that you are an emotional person. Imagine that you get defensive when asked to communicate. Imagine that you often feel insecure, inadequate, and totally un-prepared for what life ‘throws your way’. But you try. You perhaps struggle with searching yourself and examining your way of looking at the world, in the hopes that you can come to some clearer understanding of this world and your place in it. You get frustrated. You do a lot of meditating or journaling or praying or chanting and you suddenly ‘find the answer’. Then you promptly lose it. Or you get carried away and forget the answer (and the questions) altogether.
Now imagine that you live with someone who already (to your way of thinking) has the answer. All the time. Not only this, but this person keeps telling you– ‘You don’t need to try. You already have the answer, too.’ And of course, they do this every time you need to (and maybe don’t want to) hear it. And they do it with a genuine smile on their face, of course.
Something to Be Learned
So, let’s toss all the searching and trying or not-trying out the door. Let’s toss the ‘Awakening’ and ‘Enlightenment’ and ‘Non-dualism’ that Kenton often writes about out the door as well (just for right now at least.) Because what I’ve learned most from Kenton isn’t necessarily what the true nature of the ego is, or how to examine each detail of my life. What I’ve learned most from Kenton is how to smile.
When Kenton and I are out running errands, people who we hardly know (perhaps the lady at the grocery check-out line, or the bank teller) will say things to Kenton like ‘You are the happiest person I’ve ever seen.’ or ‘I don’t even need to ask you how you are today, do I? You’re always fine, aren’t you?’ Heck, Kenton can even get very grumpy people and very shy people to smile. He was born to smile.
Born to Smile
The super great thing is that we were all born to smile! I find comfort in this, especially when I feel as though I simply can’t comprehend another deep discussion about the nature of the Universe. Because smiling is something I’m good at. It comes naturally to me. And there’s nothing out there quite as satisfyingly pleasant as a real, heart-felt smile.
A genuine smile has tremendous power. And a smile, your smile, has the ability to transform someone’s whole life. Your smile gives you the power to lift someone’s mood that might have been having a bad day. Or to reassure somebody when they are scared, nervous, or unsure. Or to let someone know that you enjoy their presence. And the best thing about your smile is that it can be understood in any language.
Practice Makes Perfect
But what about those of us who simply can’t bring ourselves to smile, for whatever reason? We may all experience times of deep emotions, and smiling can help. What better way to get ‘used to’ smiling than practicing all by yourself now and then?
I first heard of this ‘smile meditation’ from the fabulous book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. In her travels to
Liz learned a simple meditation from the medicine man, Ketut. Ketut said, “Why do they make it so complicated in
The thing I like about this sort of meditation is that even someone like me can do it (I’m pretty lazy when it comes to meditating). There isn’t any sort of special pillow or chant or anything else to keep track of—just a smile. In fact, you can practice this meditation all day long wherever you go! And the more places you practice smiling, the more your smile will spread because smiles are contagious.
Start an Epidemic
What if we woke up every morning and smiled at the thought of our day ahead? We might say ‘Well, what if I know that I’m going in for surgery this afternoon?’ or ‘What if I have my divorce settlement today?’. If you experience these thoughts, here’s a question to ask yourself in return—‘What if starting my day with a smile and what if keeping a smile throughout the day actually changes the way my day unfolds?’
People who smile are viewed as more attractive and successful—two traits that, like it or not, everyone wants to share in. Perhaps your smile will bring you positive encounters and unexpected abundance that you never would have expected before. Is there any reason not to give this type of experiment a try and seeing what smiling can do for you?
At the least, you’ll be doing yourself a favor. A plethora of research has been and is being done on how our smiles affect us physically and psychologically. How a smile on our face releases ‘feel-happy’ chemicals that in turn elevate our mood, reduce our stress, boost our immune system, and help us stay positive. All of this from a simple smile!
Imagine being able to give this type of gift to the people around you. We already know that smiles are contagious, so what if you began your day with a smile? (Just repeat ‘You’re not fully dressed without a smile’ as you reach for your shoes.) Check in with yourself during the day and put on a smile. You can couple it with humming a happy little tune or making faces at yourself in the bathroom mirror. (Here’s a secret: you can even smile if you don’t feel like it–stay with it for a while and give it a chance to reach into your heart.) Your smile will spread to countless others before the day is done.
Knowing this, perhaps we should all see if we can create an epidemic in every nation—a smile epidemic that spreads from our hometown to our state to our country– and then on to the rest of the world. If you don’t believe that one person has the ability to shape the world, I dare you to wake up every morning and put on a smile!
Explore posts in the same categories: Meditation
January 5th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Hi Rebecca,
Great to finally see you emerge from the shadows, and what a way to emerge…I was smiling from start to finish over here.
Peace,
Wade
January 6th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Hello, Rebecca!
Yes, it’s all so simple. Smiling at someone can completely disarm them of their negativity. Smiling has a calming effect on the giver and the receiver.
Somthing happened to me recently that I would like to share:
A few days ago I had to get an Endoscopy procedure done. In case you or any of the readers aren’t familiar with this - it is when the doctor takes a good look down your throat all the way to the intestines. I was really scared about this and wondered how I was ever going to go through with it. I thought it was going to be just awful and that I would be gagging, choking and unable to breathe. But, when the doctor turned to me with a gentle and reassuring smile on his face, I was instantly calmed. The doctor explained that I would receive sedation shortly which would not render me unconscious, but would put me in a ‘twilight’ which would make the procedure bearable.
Well, the Endoscopy went very well. I must confess that the drug they gave me worked very well indeed. I did not care at all about what was happening to me. However, the thing that remember most was the smile on the doctors face. I told him afterward that he had a very good bedside manner.
Since this happened I have been acutely aware of the power of a smile.
I try an impart one to people whenever I can and it makes a real difference.
Thanks for sharing with us, Rebecca. I hope to read more from you in the future. : )
January 6th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Rebecca, you are as blessed as I am to have a wonderful husband. My husband taught we to laugh and to smile while showing my teeth in a big smile. What a wonderful gift. Thanks for the reminder. I am going to share this with all of my friends. Maybe we can start a smile that goes around the world.
January 6th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Hey sifu-ine!
I really enjoyed this article, and hope you write some more in the future. Reading this blog is considered part of the little ‘rewards’ that I let myself have, after a hard day of bumming and scratching my ass. Heh, my point is - I really enjoy reading both your material!
January 6th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Dear Wade,
Thank you. I am fairly blushing over here . . . and smiling, too, of course!
I am so honored to know this entire community—the writers and the readers—and to know that we are all helping one other, and welcoming others in the process, to explore this magical journey called ‘Life’.
=) Rebecca
January 6th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Hello Jerry!
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s amazing how a simple smile can set us so at ease–they really stand out like a ray of sunlight in a cloudy day.
Say, the next smile you send out, put your signature on it and I’ll see how long it takes before it reaches me. I bet it won’t be long!
Shine on-
=) Rebecca
January 6th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Dear Patricia,
HooRaY for awesome husbands!! And I’m right on with you as far as spreading a smile that reaches around the world. In fact, let’s send it out into space and beyond! (Can you imagine if our ‘first contact’ was a smile?)
=) Rebecca
January 6th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Oh, Albert, what to say? Your comments and letters always bring a smile to my face! Thank you for being so forthright-ly and honestly ‘you’.
=) Rebecca
January 6th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
“you can even smile if you don’t feel like it–stay with it for a while and give it a chance to reach into your heart.”
So true, I know this from experience, but it keeps surprising me every time it happens!
January 7th, 2008 at 9:38 am
January 7th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Hi Rebecca,
Enjoyed your writing and thoughts about SMILES…Reminded me of a short piece I wrote a while back…will share it if you don’t mind
*********
I’d walk a mile…for a smile
Did you ever notice how a smile often disarms people and leads to a good feeling inside both the smiler and the smile-ee?
I’m sure there are scientific research studies on the topic; physiological explanations as to why the triggering of certain facial muscles in a particular order and/or fashion triggers such a pleasant response.
Plainly, smiling for it’s own sake infects others with the epidemic of smiling; even when these others may not know what the instigator was originally smiling about.
Sometimes it seems we have to walk through a crowd for a mile or more just in order to encounter a another person with a smile. Perhaps it’s a sign of our times?…Maybe we just don’t take the time to notice someone else’s current state of pleasure.
Ironically, though, we, ourselves, can be the smile instigator…we don’t have to search for an elusive smile encounter…it’s so easy to be the first to smile and share the joy of it with others as we pass them by.
Seems to me, ‘I’d walk with a smile for a mile’ seems to be a much better way to put it…
John Torcello
January 7th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Dear Vitor,
Thank you for pointing that out! (I never used to think that I could make myself feel better just by putting a smile on my face, but crazily enough it works.) I encourage everyone to give it a shot sometime!
=) R
January 7th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Rahul—
Right back at’cha!
January 7th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Greetings John-
Well said! I’m a big fan of being an instigator, especially when spreading smiles and happiness is involved
=) R
January 8th, 2008 at 3:53 am
Happiness is a contagious virus that gives out good vibes to everyone around. Whether it be someone smiling, telling a joke, or just listening intently I want to be around that person because I know that they enjoy life. So many people wonder why they don’t have a significant other. If they just stop trying to be something they aren’t and just enjoy where they are, they will attract the person they are looking for into their life.
January 8th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Great article. Smiling is a very powerful act of kindness that can change the world sometimes without you being aware of it. A smile to a stranger on a cold street corner and the smile changes the course of his life and he decides that if there are people who can smile like that, maybe life is worth living after all. It’s just a possibility, but how many times has it tipped over into reality. We will never know. Just keep smiling.
Thanks
Nick
January 10th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I’ve heard it said, and know it to be very true from my own 3 children….
A smile is a language that even a baby understands. One great blessing is to see a tiny baby smile in their sleep. Angels kissing their cheeks a great grandmother used to say.
Even the tiny little symbol of a smile
on the computer ~always~ brings me a smile.
I do try very often to engage a stranger with a smile. It certainly was not always the case for me though… in my childhood years, the years
of my parent’s alcoholism, so often people would say to me…
“You would be so pretty if you only smiled”. I would look at them blankly and think to myself, there is not much to smile about. I would then
attempt to fake a smile back, but that message as often as I heard it, it seared me internally. It was not until many
years later, that I did come to know my own beauty inside, almost like the
older Deb not only smiled to the little Deb, but embraced her and said… “you know you were beautiful back then smile or no smile”
Thank you Rebecca for the message and the chance to reflect on this.
xo xo
Deb
January 10th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Hello Karl-
I like that– ‘contagious virus’. You could put people off their guard by telling them that you have a contagious virus. Then, when they give you that look (you know, where they are slightly horrified inside but are trying hard not to show it), you can smile and laugh and say:
‘Yeah, it’s called smiling!’
I bet it would help them spread even faster. . .
January 10th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Greetings Nick,
Thank you, thank you for sharing that thought!! It is so very true. We may never know how many people we have touched with our smile, or exactly what kind of small (or large) miracles it may lead to in their lives– the fact is, however, that we DO touch people with our smiles. It’s like having a magic super-power! (Who needs a cape? Unless it’s a rilly rilly cool one with a pointy hood . . .)
=) R
January 10th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Dear Deb,
Beautiful, simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
:O) Rebecca