Dissecting Your Breakfast Cereal
Mmmm, breakfast. Though our dear friend Chris once had Fruit Loops with Malibu rum, we’re thinking of something a bit more innocuous. Like Organic Post Raisin Bran. One of our favorites.
Imagine yourself sitting before the gleaming bowl, with rugged flakes and dark, exotic raisins peeking out from the pure, creamy milk.
Now. Go Zen.
That’s right. Let’s see what we’re really about to eat.
The bowl of cereal is just sitting there, looking an awful lot like a bowl of cereal. But why does it deserve that designation from us? Would it be a bowl of cereal if it was Fruit Loops and
Okay. How about if it was Organic Raisin Bran and skim milk? More confusing this time. You might say definitely ‘yes’, but I’d say definitely ‘no’, since in my book, skim milk is basically water with white food coloring added. Gross.
What about if it’s just the Raisin Bran with no milk at all?
Hmmm. Technically, it’s a bowl of cereal, but I’m not going to eat it for breakfast. I guess that when I say ‘a bowl of cereal’ I mean cereal plus milk. 2% or Whole. Maybe whole mixed with whipping cream. Yes, my cholesterol is below average. Why do you ask?
What about if there are only two flakes in the bowl? Sure, I guess if we really have to press the issue, there is a bowl, and there is something we could call cereal, so it is ‘a bowl of cereal’. But now we’re missing the point. When we talk about a bowl of cereal, we’re not talking about semantics. We’re talking about an idea. When I order a bowl of cereal at a restaurant, I’m sure as heck not going to accept a bowl with two dry flakes in it! I want a nice heaping bowl filled with creamy milk!
Obviously, a ‘bowl of cereal’ isn’t a fixed thing. It’s an idea, and because it’s an idea, we can’t agree on what, in fact, really defines a bowl of cereal. You make up your mind, I make up mine. If we disagree, we can do battle. If cereal is really important to us, maybe we can shoot missiles at each other. At the very least, we can get mad and have an argument.
You might laugh, but we’re having arguments about this sort of stuff all the time. In fact, if you look at anything you ever fight about with anyone, all you’re doing is arguing over definitions. Whatever ‘reality’ lies behind those definitions is totally ignored, since both sides are always so intent on proving that their definition is the right one. And the sad fact is that most of us don’t even know what we mean when we say ‘a bowl of cereal’. Maybe this isn’t so bad when it comes to Raisin Bran, but what about when it comes to ‘me’, or ’success’, or ‘evil’, or ‘life’? When we start ignoring the fact that we don’t know what we mean when we say these things, we get into the position of living our entire life trying to uphold ideas that we’ve never even examined.
Have you ever gotten into an argument about what someone said to you? Maybe they insulted you or implied that you’re not doing a good job at life.
Now, think about that one for a moment! Do you honestly think that you can know anything ‘factual’ about what someone else meant when they said something to you? Is there anything ‘factual’ there? If we’re not arguing about what’s really going on (fact), then what are we arguing about?
That’s right. You probably guessed it. We’re arguing about ideas and beliefs.
If we can see that there is no factual, actual ‘thing’ we can pin down as ‘a bowl of cereal’, then we’ll be able to act with compassion when we are dealing with folks who think that a bowl of cereal can be made with skim milk. This doesn’t mean we have to agree with them (you don’t, do you?), but it does mean that we see the situation has a reality that can’t be pinned down by definitions.
And when we see that, it’s going to be pretty difficult to get into an argument, let alone start blowing each other up.
Maybe, we’ll insist, ideas and beliefs are worth killing each other over! If you believe that, you probably qualify as a fanatic. That’s fine. The world is full of fanatics, and that mindset has been delivering wars and divorces and murders and anxiety for as long as humans have been humans.
But fanatacism doesn’t just come in the form of religious or political fervor. It is a subtle beast, rearing its head in innocent-seeming ways.
Next time you get into an argument with someone or feel angry at your own actions, stop and take a look at what your emotions are attached to. Just what is it you’re trying to defend? Look honestly, and you’ll find it easily enough. Now remember the bowl of Raisin Bran. Are you so attached to your definition that you are willing to cause pain to yourself and others? Why?
We’ve tried fanatacism for a very long time. And we’re still having wars, divorcing each other, and stressing ourselves out because we’re not living up to our own expectations. Are we going to just keep trying the same old ways? No matter how hard we fight, we haven’t vanquished evil or found perfect inner peace with ourselves.
But there is another way. Just see the cereal for what it is.
It’s really that simple.
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