Talking About Problems
Do you know anyone who spends an inordinate amount of time talking about their problems? Do you spend time talking about your problems?
If so, why? Our usual rationalization is that talking about our problems will bring them out into the open so that we can solve them. But is this true? If talking about our problems works so well, then why are the people who talk about their problems all the time the same people who have problems all the time?
Something’s suspicious here.
The fact is that our circumstances have very little to do with our happiness level. You can have cancer and be perfectly happy, and you can be perfectly healthy and fret over whether you’ll be healthy tomorrow.
It’s the filter through which we encounter the world (or lack of a filter, if we discover non-dualism) which determines whether we have ‘problems’ or not. As human beings, we’re perfectly capable of taking a wonderful situation and turning it into a tragedy. Many of us do this every single day.
People who talk about their problems are usually acting out of habit. And they are not doing anything positive by talking about their problems. They’re just adding fuel to the machinery that keeps their negative habits energized.
If you find yourself talking about a problem you have, stop and ask yourself why you’re doing that. Does it get you attention? Does it reinforce your idea of being a victim in a world which works against you much of the time?
These habits and ideas don’t do anything for you. There is no reason to keep them in your life. And yet, every time you talk about one of your problems, you’re willfully spending time and energy reinforcing those ideas and habits.
Isn’t it time to stop?
Seeing things just as they are will put a swift end to it. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that at any given moment, there’s not really much going on. Even if you’re in the middle of a high-powered meeting and your evil boss is yelling at you in front of everyone, the reality is that you’re just sitting quietly in a chair as your boss exhausts himself and turns red in the face. It’s a quiet, stress-free moment.
Of course, we’re welcome to react emotionally, and start thinking all sorts of thoughts regarding how unfair this is and how embarrassing this is. In fact, we can get really upset and tense and angry and hurt about the situation. We effectively will turn the situation into a problem, and the situation will seem very high-energy.
But the situation isn’t high-energy. We are high-energy. And we create that high energy in ourselves by habitually fueling our negative viewpoints.
Really, all that’s going on is that you’re sitting quietly while your boss shouts.
A ‘problem’ isn’t a life situation. It’s our worries and concerns about life situations. You are perfectly capable of turning any situation into a negative experience. We do it by playing the game of ‘what if’, and imagining all the terrible things which will happen in the future.
We’re equally capable of seeing the world just as it is.
Seen in this manner, the world is surprisingly perfect.
Explore posts in the same categories: Awakening and Reality, Understanding Dualism, Stress