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Humility has long been considered an important virtue. Let’s see if we can put an end to that right here.

Why do we consider humility to be a virtue? Let’s imagine that you are a tennis fan. Further imagine that the world’s top player is very humble. She wins a game, shakes the hand of her opponent, and gracefully acknowledges how she owes her championship to all the supportive people in her life. How do you feel about this person?

Now imagine that the world’s top player is cocky and brags about how great she is. She parades around after a game and poses for photographs and explains to the reporters that she’s just plain better than everyone else. How do you feel about this person?

Usually, we find that we feel very good about the first person, and that we feel like the second person is a jerk.

Fine so far. But let’s examine why we react in this way.

Humble People

Why do humble people infuse us with positive feelings? If you really try to imagine the first scenario above, what feelings are you left with?

You’ll probably discover that you are left with a feeling that might be described as ‘relaxed’ or ‘content’. We might label this feeling as ‘respect’. But when we look carefully enough, we find that our positive feelings derive from a perception that the great person is ‘coming down’ to our level. The positive message we can take away from this is that we are all capable of greatness. But often, we secretly harbor a more negative message – the message that none of us is really very special, and that if we achieve greatness, it’s only because we happened to be lucky.

This secret message is the one that prevents most of us from achieving our dreams. We infuse ourselves with the feeling that greatness is a matter of having our external world treat us ‘just right’, so that everything falls together in our favor. Maybe it’s good genetics, or knowing the right people, or having an inspiring role model. But it’s not because any of us are special.

Egotistical People

Let’s go back to that tennis player who thought she was God’s gift to humanity. Again, imagine the second scenario outlined above, and see what feelings you are left with.

Here, our feelings are much more akin to ‘turmoil’. We might label the feeling as ‘anger’ or ‘resentment’. But let’s ask what damage is being done. What is the harm in her thinking that she’s great?

The damage, we’ll notice, has very little to do with her. It is damage that we self-inflict within our own minds. Why do we resent her unless we harbor some jealousy?

If we watch our emotions, we don’t react to something unless it holds some meaning for us. Her parading around is just a waving of arms and a voicing of words, but those words and actions trigger a reaction in us. If we look carefully, we’ll find that we desire something that we think she has. Maybe it’s the fame. Maybe it’s the money. The adoration of fans. The physical skill.

And maybe, in our most unexamined selves, we also desire the ability to acknowledge that we are special.

Putting Ourselves Down

In the way that humility is frequently presented, it is often much less about actually being humble, and much more about cutting ourselves down. By continually refusing to acknowledge our talents and skills, we create a world-environment where we all support a psychology of mediocrity. Those who achieve greatness and are humble about it are considered to be ‘gifted’ or ‘lucky’. But those who dare to step out and acknowledge their own greatness are considered to be egocentric jerks.

True Humility

To practice true humility we have to observe whether our actions are bolstering our sense of ego. It is clear to most of us that when we brag about something, we’re strengthening our ego-sense. But what is less clear is that when we cut ourselves down, even in a subtle manner, we are also strengthening our ego-sense. We understand that people will be more comfortable and like us more if we focus on our weaknesses. In this way, we believe we garner respect from others and respect for ourselves when we act ‘humble’.

True humility, then, would be to act in a way that does not need to support our ego-sense. A person who practiced true humility would be just as likely to acknowledge their own strengths as to acknowledge their own weaknesses.

A truly humble person would not be afraid to acknowledge their own greatness. And for that, our culture would see them as egocentric.

What is Greatness?

Much of our confusion with humility comes from living in a culture that acknowledges only certain types of greatness. And if we search our emotional selves, we’ll find that most of us identify with these definitions. When these definitions include possessing enormous wealth or being in the media spotlight, then we’ve created a situation in which there will always be a minority of people who are ‘great’, while the rest of us are just ‘normal’.

Marianne Williamson, in her book ‘Return to Love,’ wrote this –

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of the God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us: it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Extolling Your Greatness

Why are we afraid to let our greatness shine? We’ve become so habituated to demeaning ourselves that some of us actually believe that we don’t have any greatness within us!

We know what it means to extol ourselves out of a feeling of inadequacy. If we don’t feel we’ve done this ourselves, we’re sure we’ve seen it in other people. All the time we see men and women who are terribly insecure, and to cover that insecurity they put up a façade of bravado.

But we can also extol ourselves out of a knowledge that we have something beautiful to offer the world. In letting our light shine, we not only fulfill our own potential, but encourage others to do the same.

The Greatness in Waking Up

When we Wake Up, then we finally see clearly what ‘greatness’ means, and also what true ‘humility’ means. At once, we sense our unity with the world, and also our existence as regular people. Greatness and Humility no longer become definitions that control our lives, and we’re finally free to truly Live.

Until Then

Until we wake up, why not initiate a revolution of greatness? We benefit ourselves and others very little by practicing mediocrity. “I’m not so great, and neither are you. No one is, really.” And the result is that most of us walk around feeling frustrated, insecure, and afraid.

What if we change our thinking a little? “I’m incredible, and so are you. In fact, there is greatness in everyone.” This changes our world-view quite a bit.

The most important person to apply this to is ourselves. Almost all of us harbor feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, and insecurity. We hide from these things as best we can, but the hiding only strengthens our conviction that we are too ‘little’ to confront even our own ideas about ourselves.

Read Ms. Williamson’s speech again. Realize how great you are! You don’t have to cut yourself down in order to shelter other people’s egos. Instead, help them discover their own greatness.

The act of bragging and the art of humility are only hiding-places for the ego. Let’s bring it all out into the light and discover what is hiding. When you do, your beauty will truly light up the world.