A Little Bit of Danger

June 29th, 2007

Or, ‘How We’re So Afraid of Dying (or Getting Hurt, or Getting Fat, or Losing Our Money, or Having Someone Look At Us Funny) That We Forget to Live’

When I was in grade school, my friends and I would get on our bikes, arm ourselves with garbage-can tops and heavy sticks, and joust each other.

Stupid? Absolutely.

We’d tumble to the grass in a tangle of flesh and metal, pick ourselves back up, and joust again. Afterwards we’d have a band-aid application party.

This was all without any sort of protective gear, mind you. We’d also set up ridiculously high jumps and go over them on our bikes. More than once I remember hitting the back of my head on the pavement, and watching in wonder as the bright white flash resolved into stars.

In general, this was typical of my childhood.

By virtue of some miracle, I came through my formative years with only mild cognitive impairment (for instance, I still insist that there is no such thing as time, movement, or me), and not even one verified broken bone.

As a grown-up, I’ve seemed to gain nothing whatsoever in the intelligence or self-preservation department. Just the other day I was trying to climb a small waterfall, fighting the current all the way up. At the very top, during the last crossing to safety, my foot slipped and plunged into the current. Down I went, bouncing between rocks, to be tossed about in the undertow beneath the falls. My friends cheered.

Limping, I returned to the beach and sat down to eat some tortilla chips. And that’s where the whole point of this article came to be.

Because when I reached into the bag, I found that all the triangular tortilla chips had dull, rounded edges.

They’ve been like this for years, of course. They used to have nice, pointy tips, but then the unthinkable occurred. An innocent man put one of these chips into his mouth, and the pointy tip lodged in his throat, nearly killing him. He, of course, sued the tortilla-chip maker, and soon at least one major brand was scrambling to replace the pointy tips with soft, rounded edges. Presumably for our collective safety.

It’s my sincere hope that this is all just an urban myth. If not, there is actually a man out there who got his butt kicked by a tortilla chip, and that doesn’t bode well for the human species.

Today, of course, children can’t even ride on a flat road without wearing a helmet. We can’t play lawn-darts because someone lodged one of those old, metal-tipped darts in someone’s skull. And yet, curiously, we can still buy and smoke cigarettes.

The point here is that we’ve become so obsessed with preserving the quantity of life (how long we live), while we totally ignore the importance of the quality of life.

I’m not referring to quality of life in the usual way — as financial or material security. The desire for security, if we look carefully, is nothing but a grasping, desperate fear of actually Living.

But can we imagine, for a moment, what life would be like if we could enjoy each moment? If we weren’t always in a chronic state of anxiety about our continued health, financial security, and reputation?

What would life be like if we didn’t care so much about other people’s opinions of us? If we chased our passions and our dreams? If we didn’t live in constant fear of the world and its unpredictable nature?

If we can find our way out of our fear, we discover that life is a grand adventure, with never a dull moment. Even the things we once thought unpleasant gain an excitement and vibrancy they didn’t hold before.

And how do we find this state of being?

It’s all about discovering this very moment, and finding that if we stop trying to force life into little boxes, it blossoms in infinite perfection. The magic answer is that we don’t have to work hard to live an amazing life – we just have to cease all the habitual effort we usually apply to trying to force life into boxes. In this way, our life becomes amazing when we stop trying so hard. Yes, it sounds like a paradox, but it’s also a truth you can discover for yourself.

This very moment is yours for the tasting. It is only our habitual state of fear that stops us from experiencing it.

Let’s start Living.

Share

4 Responses to “A Little Bit of Danger”

  1. Loved this – all so true. Why are we so afraid of death? Either we’re gone *gone* in which case, it won’t matter to us because we’ll be GONE.

    Or something lives on, in which case *we* won’t be dead at all.

    Hurray for the now and enjoying this time we DO have.

    Hurray for playing within this material existence and testing the boundaries of our bodies just ‘cos.

    Hurray for mindless FUN.

  2. Bravo! I shudder at all the parents who try to raise their children more or less packed in protective cottonballs all the time.

    Live Now!
    Lexi

  3. Better question, why are some of us so afraid of life? This is a wonderful article and so appropriate for me right now. My best friend and I are beginning to go down different paths away from each other because she is so afraid of living and I am tired of waiting on her to wake up. I recently made the decision to live my life as fully as possible. That frightens my best friend. Letting go hasn’t been as painful as I thought it would be. Thanks for the article. Patricia

  4. Dear Patricia,

    Yes! Afraid of life! Well said.

    What you describe is not uncommon for those who are on ‘spiritual’ paths. We start to see that the problems of life aren’t quite as powerful as we once thought, and it can become difficult (I’ve also heard it described as boring) to constantly engage our friends only on the level of delusion.

    In one way of seeing things, this is nothing but our own projections upon that person — we’re not seeing them as their Now selves, and instead we’re making them into something that they will probably always fail at being.

    On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with preferences, and we might find ourselves asking if we want to spend immense amounts of life energy listening to another person describing the constant details of their game. It can become like talking to someone who is addicted to video games, and wants to describe every foe they vanquished and every part of the game that they have to play over and over again because they can’t get past a certain section.

    Perhaps that’s why nature has such a tradition of being attractive to those on spiritual journeys. In nature, the game is perfect, and we’re free to fully immerse. In our human relationships, we can sometimes feel torn as our friends’ perceived demands upon our attention keep us having to pay so much attention to pointless and repeated cycles of suffering.

    It’s not an easy place to be.

    It is also an immensely valuable place to be, because it gives us a chance to see how we create people in our minds, and begs the question of what another person really is.

    Certainly a very ripe situation, Patricia. If it bears fruit for you, I’d love to hear what it is you discover.

    Sweetwater,

    Kenton

RSS feed for comments on this post. And trackBack URL.

Leave a Reply